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A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she
collapses from a heart attack! “Help me dear,” she groans to her
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. “I’m dying here and you’re putting?”
“Don’t worry dear,” says the husband calmly, “they found a
doctor on the second hole and he’s coming to help you.”
“Well, how long will it take for him to get here,” she asks feebly?
“No time at all,” says her husband, “Everybody’s already agreed to let him play through.”
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”
“Yes” says the woman.
“Did you hit him with that golf club?”
“Yes, yes, I did”, as she begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her, hands on her face.
“How many times did you hit him?”
I don’t k now, five, six, maybe seven times…..just put me down
for a five.”
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty
swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball
and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit
through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The
ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, “Are you a
The man replied: “Got here in two, didn’t I?”
The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was s tanding there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said: “What are your golf clubs doing here?”
He looked her right in the eye and said, “This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”
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